There. I've said it. Affirmations don't always work. Some people say their ‘Affs’ (as I like to call them) are amazing and others say they don't work at all. So why is there so much research out there saying that they are brilliant? Well, it’s because they are brilliant. It sounds contradictory, I know. But picture this.
There you are sitting in a meeting, butterflies in your tummy, nerves and anxiousness are kicking in when you see staff members looking at you for the next comment.
All eyes are on you.
You feel as though you shouldn’t be there...that you don’t have the answers so you hesitate to add your contribution. All you can think is I wish I had stayed at home, cuddled up with the dog or snuggled under your fluffy duvet for cover.
Right there at that moment, you are affirming - I wish I had stayed at home - You’re telling yourself something over and over and because you think it and feel it - you accept it.
A few years ago, as a lover of ‘Affs’, I decided to do my own research. I wanted to see if there was any science behind it. I know they are effective; however I have found in the past that in my most challenging times, affirmations were really really hard to do by myself.
My mission was to discover what would make affirmations work better and work all the time.
Let’s Look at The Science
When you have your affirmations, if you don't completely believe in what you're trying to say it creates what is called cognitive dissonance.
Definition: Cognitive dissonance causes feelings of unease and tension, and people attempt to relieve this discomfort in different ways. Examples include “explaining things away” or rejecting new information that conflicts with their existing beliefs. [from google]
So you see, cognitive dissonance is really disempowering. It’s a hard habit to break and keeps us from progressing in our affirmation skills.
So it is important to make your affirmations or self-talk, positive!
Like Me, Most People Have The Same Question...Where Do I Start?
I discovered that thinking of my own affirmations is actually quite hard. Because you don't know where to begin. And you may have too many things that you want to affirm.
There are many ways to write personal affirmations and one of the things I shared at the Female Wellness Retreat in Turkey, was how to start.
General affirmations are great to get you started or if you are not sure what you want to affirm. But don’t make personal affirmation too general. They pack a punch when you make them super-specific. Here is what I mean.
When I was a senior leader in education we were trained to give specific feedback. This is about identifying something a learner did well and making it really significant. Research shows there will be much more impact on a person when praise or something is an exact example.
Your affirmation will have much more resonance if it’s specific. Think about when giving feedback to someone, it’s not helpful if it is vague, it’s much more meaningful to say exactly what they did that was good and worked well.
It’s exactly the same with affirmations. Here are examples of how to personalise your affirmations:
INSTEAD OF….. | TRY THIS…….. |
I am beautiful | I have the most gorgeous skin on my cheeks and my eyes really glow. |
I’m going to do good in the interview | I’m going to be calm when I answer the questions and show my passion. |
I’m going to finish the race | I will keep pushing through even when it gets tough, as I have prepared for it. |
Things will get better | I can see that with time things will seem easier. |
Let’s say perhaps, you are not loving your winter body😂 Instead of focusing on an ideal shape for your affirmation like saying “I’m going to get down to a size 8.” Which can feel like a lot of pressure. I often suggest to clients to link it to something in gratitude and that you already believe is possible. Then your affirmation becomes more aligned to your existing beliefs, BINGO! [for example, “I’m going to appreciate my body as it gets fitter.]
It's Interesting How We Are Using Affirmations All Day, All The Time...
Many believe that if you find it difficult to think positively about yourself, affirmations can really help to change the way YOU FEEL. It's considered a powerful method to transform thinking patterns.
We’re already wired to go with negative affirmations/thoughts because it is how our brain works. It is part of our survival instincts, back in time we had to consider the negative outcomes first and fast - if we didn’t, we could literally be eaten alive!
Nowadays, the dangers are not so extreme, but we still think of the negatives faster than we think of the positives. And...we don’t quite believe the positive. That’s why affirmations don’t always work!
What makes up our negative talk? We unconsciously say things to ourselves that keep us feeling a certain way. When we try to change that it can be met with resistance.
It's all to do with mindset habits. so it’s important to get this right.
Affirmations Work By Aligning You With Who You Want To Be!!!
Not just what you do. You have to become the person who does what you want to do. Affirmation gets you to become! That’s when change happens, that’s when you start to see results.
Celebrities that BELIEVE in the power of positive affirmation include Oprah Winfrey, Jennifer Lopez, Serena Williams, Jim Carrey and Denzel Washington. When you BELIEVE in your affirmations you’re part of a group of people who use them all the time to become who they want to be.
When you subscribe to the HLB mailing list you have access to a new meditation each issue and access to the full meditation catalogue available free and exclusively to all my subscribers. Join the HLB Family where women are getting my help setting their affirmations and the space for meditation which supercharges their efforts to get the best results.
HLB Affirmations can be used as journal prompts for deeper work. They are useful in allowing space for you to personalise an affirmation that's unique and specific to you. I want to create an opportunity for you to pause, restore, reset and rebalance with guided meditation audio to accompany each affirmation. This allows every woman to ‘Self Connect’, which is one of the 6 Segments of Successful Self-care.
Why HLB Affirmations?
I have designed affirmations so that cognitive dissonance is eased. Combining my extensive research and over 20 years of coaching and teaching, I have designed an Affirmation Bundle that is rooted in Philosophy. You can use my affirmations as your own or simply to get started.
Now you have YOUR AFFIRMATIONS - LET’S LEVEL THEM UP!
We know that when we repeat statements to ourselves often enough we begin to believe them to be true. Combining your affirmation with meditation takes your selfcare up a big notch. I’ve been specifically working on this so you have this power at your fingertips. I have created a process so you can instantly take time out for yourself whenever and wherever you are with my affirmation bundle kits which are coming soon. I have designed a series of products that will get you where you want to be.
Join the HLB Family and subscribe to gain access to a full set of my fully researched specific affirmations combined with guided meditations all for free. I want to help you to build your selfcare superpowers and commit you to your positive affirmation journey. I got you. With HLB you’ll get first access and exclusive offers for my effective affirmation products - these really do get your affirmations to work!
Don’t miss out - get your selfcare on track and don’t get left behind.
Here is an affirmation for you...
"The action I take today, will determine how I will feel tomorrow."