Do you know how to use love languages to help yourself?
So there’s this book right, LOVE languages by Gary Chapman that looks at the different ways that people communicate love to others romantically. Based on the principle that we all like to receive love in a certain way and we too show love in particular style. Now we can leverage this to work in our favour by applying these different styles to us. So I’ve explored different ways we can try them out and help you discover which SELF love language you enjoy the most.
Words of affirmation
This one is a really big deal, because it's one of the things that has the biggest impact. We use words to affirm people all the time. Telling them how good we think they are, how great we think they’ve done. So let's do it for ourselves. Firmly tell yourself how good you look, how brilliant you were in that last task and how amazing you were during that presentation. This will all start to sink into our subconscious and armour us with an unaffected mindset to combat internal criticism and negative energy.
Acts of service
Actions often speak louder than words and for this language, and this is probably the easiest of them all for us. It's what we are really good at. It's the doing stuff. It's making being the organiser. We are the helpful friend and supportive partner. It's booking that restaurant without you having to ask, It's getting that thing fixed for them. It's showing up, offering to pick them up from the station, it's being there. So What does that look like for us? It’s the practical stuff that makes our life easier or happier. Make plans for stuff we’d like to do. Spend time making an extra gorgeous lunch for yourself. or have it delivered one day. Get the ironing outsourced as a treat or as a regular! Ask ‘what can I do to make my day even better today?’
I really love gifting. It's one of the things that makes me really happy. I equally love myself. I love the wrapping and the presenting of the gift. I don't always enjoy the selection so much because I find that bit quite tricky. Making others smile brings me Joy. I also really enjoy gift wrapping stuff for myself when I shop. I always ask them to wrap it up as though it's for someone one else, I'm like “no it’s a gift for me and I'm worth having gift wrap too” they often laugh about it. It must seem really weird, but I do really enjoy unwrapping even when I know what's inside. I’ve even sent myself flowers and had stuff delivered to my hotel room that I ordered.
This is about giving someone your time and attention. You want the focus to be on them, so they know they have your full attention and that no one else matters in the moment. This is a special one because it requires the most focus for an active mind. Give quality time with yourself. You have to be in the moment and totally present. It is quality time with yourself. You have to be in the moment and totally present. No multitasking ladies!! Slowing down is not always easy, but when we concentrate on spending some time with ourselves we can really benefit from the mental rest that can bring. This can be achieved through immersing ourselves in simple activities like sitting still and listening to that music on the radio. Breath work is good or watch a movie from beginning to end without using your phone. Crafting is another way to use a different part of the brain.
Being tactile with yourself is one of the most powerful ways to reconnect. This is probably the most overlooked when it comes to Wellness. We touch others in so many different ways, to offer comfort and support. But do we do that for ourselves? This one we can easily weave into our daily routine. Rub your own shoulder and mindfully moisturise. Take your own hands and nourish your own scalp with a finger tip massage, using essential oils and rose water. Discover what works for you as it is very healing, however small, like in yoga when you put your hands to Your Heart Centre. That small bit of contact creates a connection. And we can do that whenever we need to by being conscious of it as a deliberate act of selfCare.
So what ever your flavour or what ever you feel like doing. Do it in style!